There are journeys you look towards for years. Dreams you shape with every fiber of your heart. And then life comes along – and turns them into something completely different. Perhaps even something that is ultimately more truthful.
China – the Exhausting One
Never before has a country challenged us as much as China. Never before have I been so torn between fascination and irritation, beauty and disparity. I wanted to remain open, curious, receptive – and at the same time I was often just tired and wanted to get out of the country. Away from the regulations, the constant presence of the surveillance apparatus, the “not understanding,” the lack of freedom and closeness to nature that otherwise characterizes our travels with Shujaa.
And yet: Behind all the stress, there was also fascination. At the depth, the age, and the subtlety of the culture, at the encounters, at the feeling of shaping something greater – the gateway to Tibet.
The Dream of Tibet, Nepal, and India
We’ve been traveling around the world since 2017. And from the beginning of the journey, it was clear: One day we want to visit “my” favorite countries: India, Nepal, Tibet – places that have accompanied me for so long, both internally and spiritually.
I waited patiently for years. In 2025 it was finally supposed to happen.
I already saw us driving over the high passes, lighting incense sticks in the temples, planting prayer flags – free, independent, with our home on wheels.
But then the monsoon came. The border bridge in Nepal was torn away two months ago – one of three possible border crossings. The second was impassable for our size. My dreams were about to collapse. But I held on to hope: One border remained.
Oliver was skeptical, talking about a dead end if we continued beyond Mongolia. I didn’t want to hear it. I clung to my dream. But fate had other plans: The last route was also destroyed by landslides. Our China and Tibet permits were running out. We had to turn back.
15,000 km: Kazakhstan. Russia. Georgia. Turkey. Homeward bound. And I sat there – between anger, grief, and silence.
Tibet – half seen, whole felt
We traveled through Tibet, yes. But not the way I had dreamed. There was too little time, too much pressure. Onward, onward, onward. No peace, no contemplation, no arrival.
I wanted to linger. Sit in a temple. Meditate. Look people in the eyes. But instead, the clock, the kilometers, the route planning were running – when at the latest do we have to turn back?!
And yet – Tibet touched me. When I stood at the Jokhang Temple in Lhasa, saw the pilgrims praying, laughing, bowing, tears simply streamed down my cheeks. Tears of gratitude. Of emotion. Of love.
Buddhism, with its quiet kindness, its non-violence, its compassion—all of it felt so familiar. So much like home. And I knew: I want to feel this energy more in my life. Not someday, but now.
When Dreams Dissolve
I was deeply sad. Because the dream—to travel with Shujaa through Tibet, Nepal, and India—was so big, so vivid. And suddenly it was gone.
But perhaps that’s how it was meant to be. Perhaps life wanted to remind me that spirituality is not a place. That stillness, depth, peace—do not begin in a temple, but within inside me.
I also understood that I have to take care of myself. That my needs can’t always come “later.” Because life happens now—not someday.
Tibet remains unfinished for me. A chapter that calls. But I know: I will return. One day. Perhaps on a short pilgrimage, all for myself. Without a plan. Without haste.
The silent conclusion
Tibet was half-seen but deeply felt. And perhaps that’s the true meaning of this trip. Because sometimes detours lead us to ourselves. And sometimes that’s precisely the true pilgrimage. And India and Nepal are coming this spring, although not with Shujaa. We’ve decided not to wait any longer for a next trip or a supposedly better opportunity. Perhaps there’s a reason to travel to these countries differently.
